The Teachers

I was perusing my high school yearbook the other night, and I came across a much younger full color picture of myself.

Underneath, I was given an opportunity to tell the world my life’s career goal. I wrote cardiovascular surgeon.

Ha!

But it took me back to a specific moment in time.

The human heart fascinated me. In my schoolbooks its diagrams were covered with red lines and very cool names. It did fascinating things, and a teacher introduced me to those functions.

In fact, even though I dropped out of college after the first semester of my freshman year to wander the world, and haven’t made my way back—I am forever indebted to each of the teachers I’ve had for teaching me the things that helped shape the mind I have.

I remember each of them, in order, and what I learned from them. It’s a peculiar hall of fame, and I’m the only one who’s ever visited it.

For one day only, I’m opening its exhibits to the world.

1st and 2nd Grade, Mrs. Lewis: Psalms 91. She taught me that if you repeat something often enough, you will engrave it on your mind. At the end of every class day, we recited this beautiful passage. She never cared whether you read it from an open Bible or not. By the end of the year, no one needed to. Today, 30 years later, I can still recite it word for word.

3rd Grade: Miss Madison: She taught me that all Africans aren’t black. Her parents were missionaries, and she’d been born on the dark continent. She was the first white woman I ever thought was gorgeous. She was also very kind, but started the trend of letting my math work slide, because I was an excellent reader and writer.

4th Grade: Mrs. Greene: She taught me that not doing a job well is something that will eventually come to light.

5th Grade: Miss Bringham: She taught me that the room doesn’t have to be quiet for learning to happen, and that gymnastics is cool.

6th Grade: Mrs. Gerheart. This was Miss Bringham after she got married. She taught me that some women are better off by themselves, but they’re afraid of being alone. As a result, they’ll put themselves through hell for companionship.

7th Grade: Mrs. Stewart. She taught me that having your mother for a teacher puts you in an impossible situation. Your classmates don’t trust you because your mom is the teacher, and she has to be twice as hard on you to avoid the appearance of playing favorites.

8th Grade: Mrs. Poitier. She taught me that a teacher can become a lifelong friend, and that school is supposed to reinforce the love you get at home. I remember her hugs, and her playboy glasses.

9th Grade:

Mr. Payne, Geography: He taught me how to fold a map, and that I was as smart as anyone else in the world. He showed me how to never be afraid to know the answer, and to never be afraid to not know that answer—but only until I could find it. Every question deserves to be responded to, and you can stop cheating cold if you care enough to try.

Mr. Porter, Biology: He taught me the appropriate use of gambling in every day life. His tests were an exercise in genius. He showed me how to create a dichotomous key, and in passing, the word dichotomy, which remains a favorite to this day.

Miss Mullenberg, English: She taught me to that it was ok to dislike the work of Shakespeare, as long as I read it. ( I have, and I do. He's a windbag. Dante is much better.) She taught me that it’s ok to prefer modern writers, that George Orwell, Ray Bradbury, and Stephen King are each geniuses in the same vein, but that nobody cares until they are dead for 100 years. Greek mythology is where a LOT of religious ideas come from.

Sergeant York, JROTC: Profanity has a useful place in conversation, like it or not. Every man needs to know how to properly care for, and use a weapon of some kind. The rifle is highly recommeded, as it allows you to specify the target you are trying to hit. The shotgun is more effective, but less precise. If you learn drill, you learn human behavior. Be yourself, and speak up when you have something worthwhile to say.

Mr. Warner, Drafting: The difference in steel and iron. You don’t have to be able to draw to create useful art. What you need is an idea, a fundamental understanding of the rules of math and illustration, a t-square, and a couple of triangles. Also, its easier to erase a paper cleanly, if you sprinkle the whole thing with eraser-bits first.

Mr. Cain, Algebra: Education as assembly line doesn't work, everyone DOESN’T learn at the same pace, and if you try to force such a thing, the slow ones won’t learn anything. Homework doesn’t reinforce knowledge you don’t already have. Rock stars aren't necessarily cool.

Summer School

Mr. Harrington, Algebra: Bow ties rock! Its not algebra that sucks, its Mr. Cain. The fact that an entire classroom full of his students was back for take two was indicative of this, and mathematically it was a provable fact. Binomial equations. FOIL

10th Grade:

Mr. Harrington, Geometry: All mathematics doesn’t suck, in fact Geometry is useful to all writers. It’s the math that uses words.

Mrs. Stommes, Drama: There is an actor inside all of us, kissing in public is fun (and no, she didn’t kiss us. There was nothing untoward about this interesting woman, she was just youthful, and taught us stage-kissing, along with stage-stabbing, stage-crying, and stage directions.)

SFC Middleton, JROTC: Teamwork is good. Stewart, you’re a natural born leader. Never run from that responsibility.

Mrs. Nelson, English: I was a lot smarter than any of my teachers realized. I should sign up for more honors classes. She was the first person to ever read my writing, offer constructive critiques, and memorize a phrase I turned. She once asked me to autograph a theme I’d written, and seemed to generally enjoy reading my work.

Mr. Gillogly, World Studies: Religion has shaped the world more than any single force. It is neither good nor bad, but if you are going to understand the world, you MUST understand its religions. Read the damn textbook. All of the answers are in it.

THIS IS WHERE IT ALL WENT TO SHIT.

11th Grade:

Mrs. Wehling, English: Racism is still alive. You are “less” because you’re not like “the rest of us.” Some people smile to your face and stab you in the back. My writing is just okay. Just because your ACT scores are in the top tier of the class, doesn’t mean you’re smart. (Actually, it does. Intelligent is a different thing) And just because a person does something nice for you, doesn’t mean they like, or appreciate you.

Elder Fitch, Bible: Religion has shaped the world more than any single force. It is good, and as soon as we can get the world to see religion the way we do, Jesus can come. You don’t have to be feared to be respected.

Mr. Davis, Principal: Sometimes non-racist people live right next to raging fanatics, but if they don’t exercise their power, they are as useless as tits on a boarhog. A good man who says nothing of evil cannot really be called a good man.

Mr. Goodchild, Physics: Music is scientifically measurable.

Mr. Vandevere, American History: If you learn a little bit every day, by the end of the year, you will have learned a lot of new things.

Mr. Vandevere, Music: Just because you can play an instrument, doesn’t make you a good music teacher.

Mr. Turpen, Dean/PE: Your title doesn’t earn you respect, it just puts you in charge.

Mr. Gerrans, Maintenance: The entire world is held together by screws, nails, and bolts. Learn how they work, and the tools used to attach them, and you can either destroy the world, or help put it back together.

Mr. Kaufman, Driver’s Ed/Health: Beauty is skin deep.

12th Grade:

Mrs. Wehling, English: People never change inside. Their words may, but character is with you forever.

Mr. Goodchild, Chemistry: If I don’t understand something, I can’t teach it to you. (Me, not him. I’m sure he gets it.)

Elder Fitch, Bible: Religion is actually pretty complicated as a science. That’s why some men get PhD’s in it. (It’s really an art, not a science. But I didn’t learn that until later, and on my own.)

Mr. Williams, Music: Life is fun. Enjoy it. Music is as individual as writing, art, or your smile. Yours can be as beautiful as anyone else’s.

Mrs. Williams, Music: Anyone can be taught to sing. Some people need the lessons more than others.

Mr. Turpen, Dean/PE: Adults are still learning. Don’t be too hard on them. Nobody’s perfect, but lots of people are trying.

Mr. Gibson, American Government: A “thing” can either be complex, or simple. It truly depends on how creatively you approach it. No job is harder than Senior Class President. This period in your life is the most useful experience in the world to learn how to influence people and how you fit into the world.

Mrs. Gibson, Cafeteria: Learn to cook well, and you’ll always be able to make a friend. Learn to enjoy cooking well, and you’ll always be able to find a path to your own happiness. Cooking for 100 is just like cooking for two, except that you need bigger pots and pans.

Miss Bascom, Typing: The small things matter. Learn them, and you’ll never have to think about them. Ignore them, and you’ll discover why the small things matter.

There you have it. I respect each of them for what they taught me and for what I learned from them. If you want to change the world---teach.

Peace,

--Stew.