"Somehow, I just know they're going to fold." --Stew.
* * *
I've wanted to finish the games series, but haven't been in a writing mood until now.
I don't remember where I first heard it, but one of my beliefs is that the smartest way to rob a bank isn't at the teller.
If you want to rob a bank, you back a Brinks Truck up to the back door, and just fill it up.
Sure, you’re going to need a cover story, and a plan—but having chosen to rob a bank, you’re going to need those two things anyway.
The Brinks Truck method is just simple. It cuts out a bunch of middle men, and leaves you with enough trunk space to take what you actually want ... which is all the money.
Enter “the bailout” to my little screed.
I know, you've been hearing about it all day--but THIS ... really is a robbery. They're distracting us with arguments about necessity and the collapse of the economy, but this has very little to do with that. This is a flat out, back the brinks truck up to the safe, snatch the money and run, theft.
Oh Stew, you're being hyperbolic again.
Riiiiiiight. It's ALL me.
Let's review shall we?
Hyperbole: extravagant exaggeration (as "mile high ice cream cones") -- Merriam Webster Collegiate Dictionary, TENTH EDITION.
Flashback:
Date - February 8, 2007.
Location – US House of Representatives
Event – Govt Oversight and Reform Committee Hearing
Speaking – Paul Bremer, former Iraq Occupation Chief
Details – The “Honorable” Mister Bremer has been called to testify about the whereabouts of …
wait for it …
363 TONS of newly printed, shrink-wrapped $100 bills.
NOT HYPERBOLE; not VISA debits, an actual military cargo plane FULL of Benjamin Franklin-faced currency.
For those of you who DIDN’T spend your youth counting crack money or in banking, I’ll spare you the math. That is 12-Billion, with a Big-ole B for “butt,” American dollars.
And let’s talk about a billion dollars really quick, since math isn’t the American strong suit. A billion is a thousand millions. A five-bedroom, four-bath, three-car garage, McMansion on a quarter acre in the nicer D.C. suburbs would run you about a million dollars, even now.
Buy 1000 of those, and you are the proud owner of a billion dollars worth of real estate. That’s enough houses for all of your myspace friends, your facebook colleagues, your drinking buddies who can’t use a computer, your family—even the ones you don’t like, and all the hangers on who’ve figured out you have some extra houses lying around. And THAT’S just ONE billion.
These fuckers DISAPPEARED TWELVE BILLION DOLLARS into thin air. (The conservatives Agree)
Not spent it—there are no receipts. Not loaned it, or burned it, not flushed it down the toilet. It just … DISAPPEARED. We don’t know what happened to it EVEN NOW.
That, my friends, is called robbery. If you’re rich enough they might call it embezzlement, but “we” just chalked it up to collateral damage from the war and sent The Honorable Mister Bremer on his way.
Fine. What’s 12-billion dollars among friends?
If you answered “it’s casing the joint,” YOU my friends have won the grand prize, which we’ll award you as soon as we get our 12-Billion bucks back.
Why, Stew? What on earth would make you say that??
Ahem.
Today, they’re back with a plan to turn over $700,000,000,000.00 ... that’s seven hundred billion dollars, to ONE MAN.
And Congress is actually CONSIDERING it.
Wait, WTF?
Okay, lemme breathe for a minute.
It’s time for more perspective.
The US Government’s FY 2008 budget was about three trillion dollars (2.931 Trillion to be precise). Of that, roughly 410 billion was deficit spending, which is to say we were going to put it on a credit card, drawn from the bank of … I dunno, China. That was the PLAN … at the BEGINNING … of the fiscal year.
(That number doesn’t include the Global War on Terror, which isn’t part of the budget or deficit numbers because the Pentagon insists that since they don’t know how much it’s going to cost, they can’t project anything … but again, bigger fish, stew. Bigger fish.)
Fine. Deficit, schmeficit.
That three trillion covers 22 departments, all of which have a Secretary or Director who reports to a committee in Congress responsible for oversight.
But not for this heist.
The Secretary of the Treasury will get to singlehandedly oversee a fund that is almost 25% of last year’s total budget … BY HIMSELF.
I draw your attention in the proposal to Section 8 of the draft:
Sec. 8. Review.
Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency. (italics mine)
Some things just don’t require elaboration. But read some of the rest of the draft plan. It would be funny without a laugh track, if they weren't serious.
For the record, I support the notion of bailing out the economy when and if it’s in trouble. I just think the Congress should have to oversee it.
In spite of my rebellious and conspiratorial nature, I consider myself an American and a Patriot. I believe in the Constitution, and I take it seriously. Once upon a time, I took an oath to defend it … and I just don’t believe the founding fathers would look kindly on Congress handing one guy a check worth at least 25% of the total outlays for the country last year, with no day-to-day oversight.
That doesn’t sound like government to me.
It sounds like a robbery.
Peace,
--Stew.
Photo:
http://members.aol.com/musiletter/car/images/boss-in.jpg
