13 January 2008

Good Habits




One of the three media experiences I had over the weekend was a play hosted by St. Mary's, a local Catholic College for women.

The title was "Doubt: A Parable." I went because a friend of mine invited me; neither of us had any idea what the play was about, only that one of her friends had a role in the production.

I have ranted here about the scourge of Priests molesting little boys, most recently in October of 2006, in a blog called "Priests." I've been VERY critical about the way "religion," and the religious have addressed, or more accurately failed to address the issue.

This play didn't so much challenge that idea, as much as point out one perspective that I'd never considered.

The plot was simple. Sister Aloyusius, principal/head nun of an elementary school in the Bronx, 1964, believes that the local priest is molesting the first young black boy to attend. Absent the sort of evidence any "fair" investigation would require, she acts. Armed with only her conviction, compassion for the students in her charge, and a bullheaded determination born from decades of experience, she puts ALL of what little she has to risk at stake to do the right thing. She ultimately makes a series of very savvy political moves to force him to resign ... which sadly means he is transferred to another parish, with another elementary school.

On another day, perhaps I'll talk about how fantastically acted and produced it was. Or about how completely I fell in love with the character of the old stodgy, icy nun almost from her first words.

But today, a different focus.

I have come to believe that the secret to processing events in this confusing life is to find and articulate the poignant moment, that instant in the past that most vividly paints the face of good or evil on your conscience so that you can overcome apathy to respond in the proper manner.

It is easy to despise a murderer when you are confronted with a corpse. You are sorry for the family, sad for the victim, and afraid for society.

But to me, the poignant moment you require to fully ... comprehend the energy of homicide is the instant in which the murderer stood over his victim; knife in hand, armed with the collective sum of an entire life's experience and knowledge, plunging cold steel through skin, past muscle, around bone and fat, and into soft vital organs, fully knowing that he is stealing the life force of another human being. It is the splattering of blood, and whether he dabs it with a cloth, or smears it in ... before washing it off.

Facing the blunt, gruesome imagining of THIS moment, allows you to see past the man on the witness stand who wears a stylish suit and has a savvy lawyer. You can zip right past the well-groomed hair and fresh shave to the essence of the man minus his purchased advice designed to sway you.

You can snap and develop a mental picture of him in a moment less ... evolved. You can witness his heart-pounding, adrenaline pumping, anger seething, common sense on pause, excuses irrelevant, enraged moment, and envision him ... guilty.

And with THAT vision, it becomes easier to grasp the hand of justice and choke the living shit out of him with it.

It is the same for me with pedophile priests. I don't see men of the cloth, tortured souls struggling with pitch black temptations.

I see unworthy judges--men hearing the sinful and immoral confessions of others while fresh memories play in their mind's eye of recently exposed penises, anuses, and mouths; daring to counsel their peers, and assess the appropriate number of hail Marys and Our Fathers required for absolution from far lesser crimes than their own.

Your honor, I'd like permission to borrow the hand of justice to strangle this worthless bastard.

There is a moment in virtually ALL of these priestly stories that makes my blood run more frozen than cold. It is the sentence in every story that describes how MANY different environments this particular deviant has been allowed to stalk and hunt in.

It wasn't until this play that I allowed myself to wonder if perhaps all that moving around was the hand of honest but helpless people, too powerless to STOP the activity, but too concerned to sit apathetic. Engaged enough to get the demon spawn out of their purview while hoping that someone more powerful would be better positioned and inclined to cut if off at the root.

I still have nothing but a hearty FUCK YOU to pedophile priests, but I can only hope that the people lower on the totem pole from Rome to home aren't as complicit as the sky-dwellers.

For the sake of the thousands of little boys that will one day be my doctors and lawyers and congressmen and teachers of my grandchildren, I hope there are some "good habits" developing ... somewhere.

Photo:
http://www.creightonmagazine.org/files/Winter_2005/42-15198116-nun.jpg

01 January 2008

Two Thousand Eight




2007 was an ass-kicker. I genuinely hope that when I'm an old man I have its force, and width, and breadth for my endeavors. When it dealt with me; it was never shy, or somehow unresolved. It came with a power that I will probably never forget.

I am still standing.

It has always been my tradition to offer New Year wishes to my friends. It is a tradition I don't plan to break this year.

Whether you are a person who stops by now and again to read a random blog, or someone whose presence allows me to continue to breathe in peace--these words apply equally to you. In short, I wish you well--not between me and you, I tend to wish the very best for me, given the choice between us. But between you and the universe; you and God, or Karma, or fate, or choice. In THAT battle, I want you to be victorious. And in that context, here is my 2008 blessing on you:

"


I wish for you an understanding of life ... and your place in it; to see clearly the distinctions between the events you encounter because you exist, and the events that know you personally, and seek you out with the intent of destroying you. I wish for you the power to stand steady, and beat back their fiercest attack

I wish for you the desire to not merely survive today, but to thrive in it;and be resolved to have the evening sun set on a wiser, braver, and stronger you than the one who was warmed by the first rays of the morning.

I wish for you a constant awareness of the value of each breath. I bless you with the ability to measure each word you spend that precious breath on with a scale to measure its value should it be your last.

I wish for you a bubbling health; an inner spring that defies you to say anything other than "I feel wonderful."

I wish for you inner vision, so you can understand the motivations of the people you encounter; and where it is beneficial, I bless you with the will to help them when it counts.

I wish for you a circle of fellow travellers who will walk before you to check things out, beside you to keep you company, behind you to watch your back, above you to keep things from falling on your head, around you to warn of attack, and beneath you just to help keep you up.

I wish for you the fulfillment of all your necessary needs; to have air available when you inhale, freshcleancold water at your beckon, a meal available when you open the cupboard, someone to talk to and hold when you are scared or just lonely.

I wish for you great sex. I still don't care what anybody says--a bad year with great sex doesn't feel like such a bad year.

I wish for you peace; as I do every year. And while that peace is still en route; I bless your quiet place to be a refuge for you, when you must escape the ongoing battle for just a moment, everyone needs a cave.

I wish for you laughter; and that the fun runs out long before the money.

Most importantly, I wish for you the successful completion of the year--even if it beats you up a bit, and I bless you to be here next year, to read the 2009 blessing, even if you find yourself outside what I wish for you.

"



Happy New Year.

Peace,
--Stew.

Photo: http://www.geocities.com/seanyspics2/Fathertime.jpg

Stew's Number